6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
