I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
