Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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