it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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