Your tits are I can't wait for
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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