Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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