it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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