I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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