They should really pass out barf bags in church
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
