I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
