mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
