Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
