no, he came in my armpit
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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