the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
