I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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