ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
