my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
