We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
