There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
