You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
