listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
