We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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