Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
