I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
