with your own penis?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
