Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
