you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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