so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
