Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
