I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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