He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
