What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
