I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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