I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
