Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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