It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
