I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
