I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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