dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
