As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
