that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
