are you so shy because you have an std?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
