are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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