Define "chronic" masturbator.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
