i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
