yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
