You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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