...so i touched it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
