Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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