I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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