Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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