You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
