So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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