the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
