so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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