did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
