Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
