I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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