Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
