Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
