why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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